I have been back in South Dakota now for about 18 days. I arrived safely back on May 15th in the United States. Since then my days have been filled with rest, debriefing, lots of time with Jesus and time with the ones I love.
I've been thinking about how I could possibly say thank you to you all for your prayers, thoughts, concern, encouragement, and fiancial support. But there's seems to be no other way, but to share how God has answered your many prayers in my own life and the people in Jeffereys Bay. God is so good. Period. If I could describe what I have learned in one summary it would be. God loves me. Seems crazy I know. But before I didn't know that. I knew it in my head, but not in my heart. It didn't change the way I lived my life or treated others. But I've come to realize know that I know that truth down in the deepest places of my heart, it changes everything. It's changed the way I see myself. The way I see others and treat them. Its made me WANT to love God. So, how did I come to the realization of this great truth? Well, I simply let God love me. I choose to let God show me that He loves me the way I am. Not after I confess, or spend nine months in Africa, but now just the way He made me. I choose to love myself for who God has made me. It has changed my life.
It's hard sumarize in words all God did in the relationships I built with the people of Jeffreys. I will share with you one sweet friendship I shared with a young woman. I met her this semester and we quickly became friends. She was a new christian and so hungry for God. Though she was a "baby christian" I was so inspired and encouraged by her solid and big faith in God to do the impossible. She prayed fervently for her unsaved husband, and was unwavering in her involvement in the church. On one very powerful day she was baptized, it was so exciting! And she also recieved the baptism of the Holy Spirit. She still has a lot of rough stuff going on, but oh, how encouraging to know she has the empowerment of the Holy Spirit within her! I went into the frienship expecting to encourage her, but she was the one that challenged me.
Thank you so much for sharing with me on this journey to South Africa. The trip has come to an end, but I know that this is just the begining of all that God has planned for me. Please join me in praying as I seek what God would have me do this next year. And contiune to pray for the dear people of Jeffreys Bay.
When you awoke this morning, did you wonder where you find food for the day?
Did you question if you would have enough money to buy your medicine for your disease that you carry with you every day? Did you worry about where you spend your night sleeping? I think we would all answer no to those questions. But what if I asked you if you have said recently. "I am starving, there's nothing to eat!" Or "I am so poor, I can't believe gas is 2.50 a gallon!" Or "Our house is so small, I think we need to add on." Ouch, I know I have said all those things. What God must think when we make such statements.
I am rereading Crazy Love by Francis Chan it is changing, convicting and putting me flat on my face before God. One of the biggest things I saw when I lived in Africa was the joy people had. Despite their situations they had joy. My friends from Zimbabwe left all they had there, their nice homes, and family to come live in South Africa so they could make a living because of the corrupt president that is literally killing his own people. They had every season to complain, they came to a foreign land, live in tiny shacks, many times don't have food on their shelfs and are hundreds of miles from family, but yet they have joy. My friend has HIV, a rough marriage, lives in a shack and doesn't have much at all, but yet she has a true geniune smile on her face. My friend Princess was dying from HIV, was weak and in pain, but yet she had joy until her dying day. Why? I have everything I could ever want. A nice house, clothes, food 3 times a day, a car to drive, my health and a great family, but yet it seems they have more joy then me. Could it be they have something you and I don't?
"They possess very little of what "counts in our society, yet they have what matters most. They came to God in their great need and they have found true joy. Because we don't usually have to depend on God for food, money to buy our next meal, or shelter, we don't feel needy. In fact, we generally think of ourselves as fairly independemt and capable. Even, if we aren't rich, we are 'doing just fine.'
If one hundred people represented the world's population, fifty-three of those would live on less than $2 a day. Do you realize that if you make $4,000 a month, you automatically make one hundered times more than the average persosn on this planet?
Which is messed up- that we have so much compared to everyone else, or that we don't think we're rich? That on any given day we flippantly call ourselves 'broke' or 'poor'? We are neither of those things. We are rich. Flithy rich."
Friends, my heart breaks when I read this, because this is us. How can we so flippantly read the passage in Luke 18? About the rich young man that asked what Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life and Jesus tells him to go sell everything he owns and give it to the poor. The man walks away sad, and Jesus responds "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Lk18:24-25)
WE are the rich! And unless you know how to put a camel through the eye of the needle I think we are in a serious situation. But that is not all, in chapter 14 He says, "Any of you who does not give up everything he cannot be my disciple." (Lk14:33)
I know most of you have read this before, but this is serious stuff. Jesus isn't playing around. He says rich people and any one of you who won't give up everything can't be His disciple. And he means everything. Not just a few things, everything. Time. College. Family. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Home. Comfort. America. Security. The future. Stuff. Your very life.
"Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeding at things in life that don't really matter." So I ask you. When you gave Jesus your life, did you count the cost? Did you give him your WHOLE life or just whats comfortable? We serve a Holy God. He doesn't want our leftovers, He wants everything.
I greet you all in the name of Jesus. I write to you on a breezy and cool Saturday morning in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa. The past three weeks have been a constant whirlwind of events, and I ponder how to somehow put into words all that has happened and how God has moved and changed me.
I will take you all back to January, since then so often in church or during my prayer times the cry out of my lips to Jesus Christ would be, "whatever happens in this life I will follow you." I truly meant those words, but wondered to myself why I cried that out repeatedly to Christ and why it just seemed to flow from my lips. Well, now almost four months later I understand that God had been preparing me for one of the hardest times in my life. He put that prayer in my heart so it could really sink deep into my heart and being and really become true in my life. On April 5th, my good friend Sarah that came alongside me here to Africa was killed in a car accident. Sarah and I had been friends since we were young and shared a strong common bond through missions and our love for children. Since January she had been stationed with her smaller team in Port Elizabeth about 45miles from my station in Jeffreys Bay. But even then we stayed in contact and prayed with each other. If I would have known getting on that plane with Sarah in September and that when I got off the plane in May to come home that she wasn't going to be beside me, I don't think I could have handled it. But God has taught me so much through Sarah's death.
He has taught me that he doesn't give me grace for what happens tomorrow, or ten years for now, but grace for today. I had the privilege to speak at Sarah's memorial service here in Africa. Never in my life have I felt God's grace upon me like I did that afternoon. I literally could not have done it on my own, but God's grace was sufficient for me. As I look back I can see how God was preparing me in a way for Sarah's death, teaching me a lot about having an eternity mindset. I could have easily become angry at God asking him why, but I have learned that God is good. That is his character. He is faithful. It is who He is. His character never changes. Period. He cannot do us harm, because his very character is good and kind.
I have seen this come into real life even more this week as my teammate and I have had to deal with a very difficult circumstance. Our very good friend that we visit weekly has discovered her husband has several girlfriends (xhosa culture=affairs) and she is now in danger of her violent husband that has a gun and knife that he will most likely pull on her once she mentions divorce or separation. God has given me and my teammates the wisdom to not get involved anymore then we have, because of danger to ourselves as well. I PLEAD with you to pray for protection over her and her two children and also for a change in her husband.
As I write this I can't believe that in only three weeks I will be back in America. I ask for all your prayers as I finish my time here in Jeffereys Bay.
- Please pray that I would hear God's voice about my future plans about coming back here next year.
-Pray as I say goodbye to these people that I have come to love with all my heart that I will not be a stumbling block in any way, but only an arrow pointing them to Jesus Christ.
Loving His people,
-Ellen A. Amdahl
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."- Job 1:21
God loves you.
God loves you.
If you're like me at all you read that, but it didn't really sink in. Ever since I
can remember I knew that God loved me, but it was always head knowledge I never let
in sink into my heart. I did a little, but not enough that His love actually changed
my life.
On Monday we started studying the book "Crazy Love"- by Francis Chan.
It is turning my world upside down, and transforming me. Or should I say God's love is
changing me. God the Creator of the universe, stars, ocean, and land loves me. He is not a god that is far off, and simply tells us what to do, but he gives us a free choice. He wants us to love Him. Actually, He longs for us to love Him. Can you think of one of your deepest longings? Now ponder that for a moment. Now think about how strong those feelings are and now imagine God with that same longing feeling. His longing is for us. For you. For me. The God who is totally complete, all powerful and all-knowing longs to love us. He longs for us to love Him back. He doesn't need our love, but He wants it. He's a jealous God, but I think He has a little bit of a right considering He created us. This quote convicted me big time-
The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need
God but don't really want Him most of the time, He treasures us and anticipates our
departure from earth to be with Him- and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have
to do for Him to get by.
Have you ever thought that God anticipates your arrival one day? That He can't wait
for you to come home and be with him? As I am starting to grasp just a little of what God looks like, it compels me to change the way I live my life. To share this love that will change a person's life. To share about this God that so desperately wants His people to love Him. I have been asking myself every day this week, how would my life look different if I really lived in God's love. If I really lived like I am loved by the Creator of the universe? Think about it. Let it sink in and go from your head to your heart.
Diving into His love,
-ellie
Today I saw one of my kids Buko playing on the street. He has not come to Ithemba since last year(Dec). I have seen him a couple times this year on the streets playing with other kids, and have also randomly met his father one day. He came up to us one day and started a conversation about his life and his son that I found out was Buko. I told him I was his teacher and he thanked me repeatedly for my work and time spent with his son, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Last week I saw both Buko and his father in the morning when he should have been in school. His father was clearly drunk and was dragging him along by his side. My heart broke, but what could I do I thought to myself. Then today as I was walking to Ithemba the kids were just getting out of school. I spotted Buko immediately; I ran over to him so excited and scooped him up into my arms. He looked at me and smiled, but something was different. He didn't' want to look at me and he didn't want to be in my arms. I let him down and asked if he could come to Ithemba. The other older kids translated for me and he got angry (which rarely happens) and walked away. I caught up to him and tried to talk to him, but he looked at me sadly, waved goodbye and kept walking. I wish I could describe to you better what went on or what I felt. It might not sound like a big deal, it could just be a kid having a bad day and not wanting to talk. But I knew in my heart and spirit that that is not what it was. Something else is going on. I remembered back to when I met his father and he said it's just him and Buko. This little 6 year old boy is living with an alcoholic father to care, provide and give him emotional stability. I realized which he probably isn't getting except the physical nourishment. I have not been able to stop thinking about Buko. My heart is completely broke
for him. I feel such a strong urgency to stand in the gap for him and whatever is
going on in his life. I am asking you also to stand in the gap for him. I don't think
its a coincidence that I met his father that one day on the street or that I am
seeing Buko randomly. God is showing me that he needs prayer, because what if I am
the only one in his life that is praying for him. So that is why I am asking you,
my brothers and sisters to pray for him.
Pray for: Protection
The blood of Jesus Christ over him
Emotional, and Physical safety
Bondage broken for his fathers addiction to alcohol
Salvation would be come to their house
As soon as I know anything else of have more information I'll be sure to update you
all. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Keep on!
Yet I am among you as the One who serves" (Luke 22:27) Paul's idea of service was the same as our Lord's- "ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake" (2 Cor 4:5) We somehow have the idea that a person called to the ministry is called to be different and above other people. But according to Jesus Christ, he is called to be "doormat" for others-called to be their spiritual leader, but never their superior. Paul said, "I know how to be abased..." ( Philippians 4:12). Paul's idea of service was to pour his life out to the last drop for others. And whether he received praise or blame made no difference. As long as there was one human being who did not know Jesus, Paul felt a debt of service to that person until he did come to know Him. But the chief motivation behind Paul's service was not love for others, but love for his Lord. If our devotion is to the case of humanity, we will be quickly defeated and broken-hearted, since we will often be confronted with a great deal of ingratitude from other people. But if we are motivated by our love for God, no amount of ingratitude will be able to hinder us from serving one another.
Paul's understanding of how Christ had dealt with him is the secret behind his determination to serve to others. "I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man..." (1 Timothy 1:13) In other words, no matter how badly others may have treated Paul, they could never have treated him with the same degree of spite and hatred with which he had treated Jesus Christ. Once we realize that Jesus has served us even to the depths of our meagerness, our selfishness, and our sin, nothing we encounter from others will be able to exhaust our determination to serve others for His sake."
-Oswald Chamber- My Utmost for His Highest
I wanted to share this with you all, because it was so convicting to me. I pray it also will speak to you. This week was great- the time flys by faster and faster each week. Please be in prayer as I start planning the Ithemba fundraiser/carnival for the end of April. I volunteered to head it up to work on my leadership skills. I know that it will be ALOT of work, but I look foward to be challenged and stretched. Right now I am just in the process of contacting business in town, contacting ministries and setting the date. Please pray God's hand will be upon everything. My friend Heidi from college and her dad will be visiting me this next week! I am so excited to see someone from back home! Please pray that they will have safe travels here.
My mind swirls as I try to put my thoughts down on paper and try to give you a glimpse of what life has been like the past week here in Jbay and what God has been doing.
I think back to my previous blog titled the fear of the LORD and how that has contiuned to come into play even this week. Last weekend there was a murder here in a white neighborhood next to us. It seemed the whole town knew about it instantly. I was quickly captured by fear, doubting that I was safe here in Jbay. I let doubt begin to creep in and I wondered if God could surely keep us from harm. Then God brought me to Pslam 18, where David talks about God being our Rock, Shelter, Refuge and Salvation.
Shelter= something that comes between you and harm
He clearly spoke straight to my hear. He asked me,"do you really believe that I will protect you and hide you in the shelter of My wings? Because I promise you that countless times in my Word." The more the muder was talked about in Jbay, the more I realized how sad it truly was. Almost every day people are dying/ being murdered in the community, (where the black and colored people live), and you never hear about it. It made me realize how the black people are considered some much lower then the white. If a black or colored person dies it's not a big deal, but if it's a white person it's a huge deal. It breaks my heart. I am sharing this with you because it's a HUGE prayer request. Segeration is a big problem here. People are split into three groups: white, colored, and black.
Please pray this bondage that Stan has on them will be broken and they would see each other truly and not just their skin color or race.
I am still in my two ministries:Ithemba and house visits. House visits was definitely a break through week. We visited my friend with HIV and she opened up to me about how her mother that has passed away was a witchdoctor. She contiuned to share about their cultural traditions, and beliefs. The Xhosa culture is very heavily into ancestor worship and praying to them. We were able to pray with her and also speak a few words of truth.
Please pray: that the bondage and deep generational curses and tradtions will be broken over her. That she would truly want to know the Truth and the Way.
Also please pray for my class of students at Ithemba. Yesterday I had 30 students in small hot classroom. It is to hard for them to pay attention and truly learn in that type of environment. But God is my strengh and He is in control!
The fear of the Lord. We hear about it so much, but do we truly fear the Lord and know what it means. This week in discipleship we talked about wisdom, knowledge and fearing the Lord. My leader explained the fear of the Lord into three parts but yet they are all connected and create what it means to fear the Lord. One: Imagine yourself locked in a cage with a roaring lion. Imagine how you would feel, you would be scared out of your mind. Two: Imagine youself standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon looking out over it and knowing the God that created it all. Imagine the beauty and majesty of it all. Three: Imagine the man or woman you love with all you heart. You look at them and are in awe of their physical and inner beauty. To her (my leader) that she said is the fear of the Lord. If you have just one of those parts your relationship with God is going to be off balanced and not healthy, but when you understand and start to live all three parts out with your relationship with God, that begins the fear of the Lord.
I don't think it's a concidence that we studied about fear this week. Because last week Thursday two other girls and myself were mugged while walking in the community. It was defintely one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, yet I know that Jesus' blood was covering us and protecting us. I had many expenses things stolen from me, so my first reaction was angry. I was angry at the selfishness of these two men to take what didn't belong to them, and using violence to get what they wanted. The anger didn't last long as my heart began to break for not only these two men but this city of Jeffreys. I began to realize these men don't know the Lord, why wouldn't they take my stuff? They have no purpose in life, because they don't know Jesus. They have no hope. God completely broke me down that day, who am I to be angry? These things were not mine, everything I have belongs to God, and He gives and takes away. They are simply things. My heart contiunes to break for this city-for their wickedness, spirit of drunkness, and adultery. I pray that this city will be restored. That these people will find the hope that they so desperately need. God has continuely been working in me this week as I contiune to walk around the community visiting people, the fear wants to badly to rise up and take over. But I have contiunely ask myself the question do I fear men? Or do I fear God? I challenge you-how would your life look different if you truly starting to fear the Lord?
Thankyou so much everyone from CTK for your prayers. I definitely am blessed because of them! Please contiune to pray for:
-Safety while in the community
-A desperation for Jesus and His Salvation
-My class of 20 students- their home lives are SO rough. Pray protection, salvation, and his love over them.
She was weak and broken
Her home a shack
She was sick
Her health fading
She had the unspoken disease
Her body frail and thin
She was poor
Her family jobless
She was only twenty seven
Her life was but a breath
She was in constant pain
Her limbs aching
She hung on for so long
Her strength fierce
She couldn't hold on anymore
Her body gave in
She went home to Jesus today
Her body swept into His arms
She is strong ad whole now
Her body completely new
She is FREE
Her feet dancing on streets of gold
She is rich in Jesus
Her home in heaven
She is home
Her tears are no more
She has eternal joy
Her home is in Jesus' arms
She's with her King
He took His princess home today
Princess went home to be with Jesus on Sunday night. After a long and painful struggle, she is now free. Please
pray for her husband and two little girls. Pray for comfort, strength, and His presence.
