Ellen Amdahl - Living In Reckless Abadonment

The End. And New Beginings,

Tue, 2 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Dear family and friends,

I have been back in South Dakota now for about 18 days. I arrived safely back on May 15th in the United States. Since then my days have been filled with rest, debriefing, lots of time with Jesus and time with the ones I love.

I've been thinking about how I could possibly say thank you to you all for your prayers, thoughts, concern, encouragement, and fiancial support. But there's seems to be no other way, but to share how God has answered your many prayers in my own life and the people in Jeffereys Bay. God is so good. Period. If I could describe what I have learned in one summary it would be. God loves me. Seems crazy I know. But before I didn't know that. I knew it in my head, but not in my heart. It didn't change the way I lived my life or treated others. But I've come to realize know that I know that truth down in the deepest places of my heart, it changes everything. It's changed the way I see myself. The way I see others and treat them. Its made me WANT to love God. So, how did I come to the realization of this great truth? Well, I simply let God love me. I choose to let God show me that He loves me the way I am. Not after I confess, or spend nine months in Africa, but now just the way He made me. I choose to love myself for who God has made me. It has changed my life.

It's hard sumarize in words all God did in the relationships I built with the people of Jeffreys. I will share with you one sweet friendship I shared with a young woman. I met her this semester and we quickly became friends. She was a new christian and so hungry for God. Though she was a "baby christian" I was so inspired and encouraged by her solid and big faith in God to do the impossible. She prayed fervently for her unsaved husband, and was unwavering in her involvement in the church. On one very powerful day she was baptized, it was so exciting! And she also recieved the baptism of the Holy Spirit. She still has a lot of rough stuff going on, but oh, how encouraging to know she has the empowerment of the Holy Spirit within her! I went into the frienship expecting to encourage her, but she was the one that challenged me.

Thank you so much for sharing with me on this journey to South Africa. The trip has come to an end, but I know that this is just the begining of all that God has planned for me. Please join me in praying as I seek what God would have me do this next year. And contiune to pray for the dear people of Jeffreys Bay.

Following His Heart,

-ellie

Counting the Cost

Fri, 29 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

When you awoke this morning, did you wonder where you find food for the day?

Did you question if you would have enough money to buy your medicine for your disease that you carry with you every day? Did you worry about where you spend your night sleeping? I think we would all answer no to those questions. But what if I asked you if you have said recently. "I am starving, there's nothing to eat!" Or "I am so poor, I can't believe gas is 2.50 a gallon!" Or "Our house is so small, I think we need to add on." Ouch, I know I have said all those things. What God must think when we make such statements.

I am rereading Crazy Love by Francis Chan it is changing, convicting and putting me flat on my face before God. One of the biggest things I saw when I lived in Africa was the joy people had. Despite their situations they had joy. My friends from Zimbabwe left all they had there, their nice homes, and family to come live in South Africa so they could make a living because of the corrupt president that is literally killing his own people. They had every season to complain, they came to a foreign land, live in tiny shacks, many times don't have food on their shelfs and are hundreds of miles from family, but yet they have joy. My friend has HIV, a rough marriage, lives in a shack and doesn't have much at all, but yet she has a true geniune smile on her face. My friend Princess was dying from HIV, was weak and in pain, but yet she had joy until her dying day. Why? I have everything I could ever want. A nice house, clothes, food 3 times a day, a car to drive, my health and a great family, but yet it seems they have more joy then me. Could it be they have something you and I don't?

"They possess very little of what "counts in our society, yet they have what matters most. They came to God in their great need and they have found true joy. Because we don't usually have to depend on God for food, money to buy our next meal, or shelter, we don't feel needy. In fact, we generally think of ourselves as fairly independemt and capable. Even, if we aren't rich, we are 'doing just fine.'

If one hundred people represented the world's population, fifty-three of those would live on less than $2 a day. Do you realize that if you make $4,000 a month, you automatically make one hundered times more than the average persosn on this planet?

Which is messed up- that we have so much compared to everyone else, or that we don't think we're rich? That on any given day we flippantly call ourselves 'broke' or 'poor'? We are neither of those things. We are rich. Flithy rich."

Friends, my heart breaks when I read this, because this is us. How can we so flippantly read the passage in Luke 18? About the rich young man that asked what Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life and Jesus tells him to go sell everything he owns and give it to the poor. The man walks away sad, and Jesus responds "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Lk18:24-25)

WE are the rich! And unless you know how to put a camel through the eye of the needle I think we are in a serious situation. But that is not all, in chapter 14 He says, "Any of you who does not give up everything he cannot be my disciple." (Lk14:33)

I know most of you have read this before, but this is serious stuff. Jesus isn't playing around. He says rich people and any one of you who won't give up everything can't be His disciple. And he means everything. Not just a few things, everything. Time. College. Family. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Home. Comfort. America. Security. The future. Stuff. Your very life.

"Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeding at things in life that don't really matter."
So I ask you. When you gave Jesus your life, did you count the cost? Did you give him your WHOLE life or just whats comfortable? We serve a Holy God. He doesn't want our leftovers, He wants everything.

God is Good

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

        I greet you all in the name of Jesus. I write to you on a breezy and cool Saturday morning in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa. The past three weeks have been a constant whirlwind of events, and I ponder how to somehow put into words all that has happened and how God has moved and changed me.

   I will take you all back to January, since then so often in church or during my prayer times the cry out of my lips to Jesus Christ would be, "whatever happens in this life I will follow you." I truly meant those words, but wondered to myself why I cried that out repeatedly to Christ and why it just seemed to flow from my lips. Well, now almost four months later I understand that God had been preparing me for one of the hardest times in my life. He put that prayer in my heart so it could really sink deep into my heart and being and really become true in my life. On April 5th, my good friend Sarah that came alongside me here to Africa was killed in a car accident. Sarah and I had been friends since we were young and shared a strong common bond through missions and our love for children. Since January she had been stationed with her smaller team in Port Elizabeth about 45miles from my station in Jeffreys Bay. But even then we stayed in contact and prayed with each other. If I would have known getting on that plane with Sarah in September and that when I got off the plane in May to come home that she wasn't going to be beside me, I don't think I could have handled it. But God has taught me so much through Sarah's death.

   He has taught me that he doesn't give me grace for what happens tomorrow, or ten years for now, but grace for today. I had the privilege to speak at Sarah's memorial service here in Africa. Never in my life have I felt God's grace upon me like I did that afternoon. I literally could not have done it on my own, but God's grace was sufficient for me. As I look back I can see how God was preparing me in a way for Sarah's death, teaching me a lot about having an eternity mindset. I could have easily become angry at God asking him why, but I have learned that God is good. That is his character. He is faithful. It is who He is. His character never changes. Period. He cannot do us harm, because his very character is good and kind.

   I have seen this come into real life even more this week as my teammate and I have had to deal with a very difficult circumstance. Our very good friend that we visit weekly has discovered her husband has several girlfriends (xhosa culture=affairs) and she is now in danger of her violent husband that has a gun and knife that he will most likely pull on her once she mentions divorce or separation. God has given me and my teammates the wisdom to not get involved anymore then we have, because of danger to ourselves as well. I PLEAD with you to pray for protection over her and her two children and also for a change in her husband.

   As I write this I can't believe that in only three weeks I will be back in America. I ask for all your prayers as I finish my time here in Jeffereys Bay.

- Please pray that I would hear God's voice about my future plans about coming back here next year.

-Pray as I say goodbye to these people that I have come to love with all my heart that I will not be a stumbling block in any way, but only an arrow pointing them to Jesus Christ.

Loving His people,

-Ellen A. Amdahl

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."- Job 1:21

Buko

Wed, 1 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Today I saw one of my kids Buko playing on the street. He has not come to Ithemba since last year(Dec). I have seen him a couple times this year on the streets playing with other kids, and have also randomly met his father one day. He came up to us one day and started a conversation about his life and his son that I found out was Buko. I told him I was his teacher and he thanked me repeatedly for my work and time spent with his son, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Last week I saw both Buko and his father in the morning when he should have been in school. His father was clearly drunk and was dragging him along by his side. My heart broke, but what could I do I thought to myself. Then today as I was walking to Ithemba the kids were just getting out of school. I spotted Buko immediately; I ran over to him so excited and scooped him up into my arms. He looked at me and smiled, but something was different. He didnt want to look at me and he didnt want to be in my arms. I let him down and asked if he could come to Ithemba. The other older kids translated for me and he got angry (which rarely happens) and walked away. I caught up to him and tried to talk to him, but he looked at me sadly, waved goodbye and kept walking. I wish I could describe to you better what went on or what I felt. It might not sound like a big deal, it could just be a kid having a bad day and not wanting to talk. But I knew in my heart and spirit that that is not what it was. Something else is going on. I remembered back to when I met his father and he said its just him and Buko. This little 6 year old boy is living with an alcoholic father to care, provide and give him emotional stability. I realized which he probably isnt getting except the physical nourishment. I have not been able to stop thinking about Buko. My heart is completely broke

for him. I feel such a strong urgency to stand in the gap for him and whatever is

going on in his life. I am asking you also to stand in the gap for him. I don't think

its a coincidence that I met his father that one day on the street or that I am

seeing Buko randomly. God is showing me that he needs prayer, because what if I am

the only one in his life that is praying for him. So that is why I am asking you,

my brothers and sisters to pray for him.

Pray for: Protection

The blood of Jesus Christ over him

Emotional, and Physical safety

Bondage broken for his fathers addiction to alcohol

Salvation would be come to their house

As soon as I know anything else of have more information I'll be sure to update you
all. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Keep on!

Seeking His Heart,

-ellie

Crazy Love

Wed, 1 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

God loves you.
God loves you.
If you're like me at all you read that, but it didn't really sink in. Ever since I
can remember I knew that God loved me, but it was always head knowledge I never let
in sink into my heart. I did a little, but not enough that His love actually changed
my life.
On Monday we started studying the book "Crazy Love"- by Francis Chan.
It is turning my world upside down, and transforming me. Or should I say God's love is
changing me. God the Creator of the universe, stars, ocean, and land loves me. He is not a god that is far off, and simply tells us what to do, but he gives us a free choice. He wants us to love Him. Actually, He longs for us to love Him. Can you think of one of your deepest longings? Now ponder that for a moment. Now think about how strong those feelings are and now imagine God with that same longing feeling. His longing is for us. For you. For me. The God who is totally complete, all powerful and all-knowing longs to love us. He longs for us to love Him back. He doesn't need our love, but He wants it. He's a jealous God, but I think He has a little bit of a right considering He created us. This quote convicted me big time-
The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need
God but don't really want Him most of the time, He treasures us and anticipates our
departure from earth to be with Him- and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have
to do for Him to get by.
Have you ever thought that God anticipates your arrival one day? That He can't wait
for you to come home and be with him? As I am starting to grasp just a little of what God looks like, it compels me to change the way I live my life. To share this love that will change a person's life. To share about this God that so desperately wants His people to love Him. I have been asking myself every day this week, how would my life look different if I really lived in God's love. If I really lived like I am loved by the Creator of the universe? Think about it. Let it sink in and go from your head to your heart.
Diving into His love,
-ellie

The determination to Serve

Fri, 6 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Yet I am among you as the One who serves" (Luke 22:27) Paul's idea of service was the same as our Lord's- "ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake" (2 Cor 4:5) We somehow have the idea that a person called to the ministry is called to be different and above other people. But according to Jesus Christ, he is called to be "doormat" for others-called to be their spiritual leader, but never their superior. Paul said, "I know how to be abased..." ( Philippians 4:12). Paul's idea of service was to pour his life out to the last drop for others. And whether he received praise or blame made no difference.
As long as there was one human being who did not know Jesus, Paul felt a debt of service to that person until he did come to know Him. But the chief motivation behind Paul's service was not love for others, but love for his Lord. If our devotion is to the case of humanity, we will be quickly defeated and broken-hearted, since we will often be confronted with a great deal of ingratitude from other people. But if we are motivated by our love for God, no amount of ingratitude will be able to hinder us from serving one another.

Paul's understanding of how Christ had dealt with him is the secret behind his determination to serve to others. "I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man..." (1 Timothy 1:13)  In other words, no matter how badly others may have treated Paul, they could never have treated him with the same degree of spite and hatred with which he had treated Jesus Christ. Once we realize that Jesus has served us even to the depths of our meagerness, our selfishness, and our sin, nothing we encounter from others will be able to exhaust our determination to serve others for His sake."

-Oswald Chamber- My Utmost for His Highest

I wanted to share this with you all, because it was so convicting to me. I pray it also will speak to you. This week was great- the time flys by faster and faster each week. Please be in prayer as I start planning the Ithemba fundraiser/carnival for the end of April. I volunteered to head it up to work on my leadership skills. I know that it will be ALOT of work, but I look foward to be challenged and stretched. Right now I am just in the process of contacting business in town, contacting ministries and setting the date. Please pray God's hand will be upon everything. My friend Heidi from college and her dad will be visiting me this next week! I am so excited to see someone from back home! Please pray that they will have safe travels here.

Seeking His heart,

-ellie

He is at work, even when we cannot see it...

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

My mind swirls as I try to put my thoughts down on paper and try to give you a glimpse of what life has been like the past week here in Jbay and what God has been doing.

I think back to my previous blog titled the fear of the LORD and how that has contiuned to come into play even this week. Last weekend there was a murder here in a white neighborhood next to us. It seemed the whole town knew about it instantly. I was quickly captured by fear, doubting that I was safe here in Jbay. I let doubt begin to creep in and I wondered if God could surely keep us from harm. Then God brought me to Pslam 18, where David talks about God being our Rock, Shelter, Refuge and Salvation.

Shelter= something that comes between you and harm

He clearly spoke straight to my hear. He asked me,"do you really believe that I will protect you and hide you in the shelter of My wings? Because I promise you that countless times in my Word." The more the muder was talked about in Jbay, the more I realized how sad it truly was. Almost every day people are dying/ being murdered in the community, (where the black and colored people live), and you never hear about it. It made me realize how the black people are considered some much lower then the white. If a black or colored person dies it's not a big deal, but if it's a white person it's a huge deal. It breaks my heart. I am sharing this with you because it's a HUGE prayer request. Segeration is a big problem here. People are split into three groups: white, colored, and black.

Please pray this bondage that Stan has on them will be broken and they would see each other truly and not just their skin color or race.

I am still in my two ministries:Ithemba and house visits. House visits was definitely a break through week. We visited my friend with HIV and she opened up to me about how her mother that has passed away was a witchdoctor. She contiuned to share about their cultural traditions, and beliefs. The Xhosa culture is very heavily into ancestor worship and praying to them. We were able to pray with her and also speak a few words of truth.

Please pray: that the bondage and deep generational curses and tradtions will be broken over her. That she would truly want to know the Truth and the Way.

Also please pray for my class of students at Ithemba. Yesterday I had 30 students in small hot classroom. It is to hard for them to pay attention and truly learn in that type of environment. But God is my strengh and He is in control!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement!

Until Next Time,

-ellie

Fear of the LORD

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The fear of the Lord. We hear about it so much, but do we truly fear the Lord and know what it means. This week in discipleship we talked about wisdom, knowledge and fearing the Lord. My leader explained the fear of the Lord into three parts but yet they are all connected and create what it means to fear the Lord. One: Imagine yourself locked in a cage with a roaring lion. Imagine how you would feel, you would be scared out of your mind. Two: Imagine youself standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon looking out over it and knowing the God that created it all. Imagine the beauty and majesty of it all. Three: Imagine the man or woman you love with all you heart. You look at them and are in awe of their physical and inner beauty. To her (my leader) that she said is the fear of the Lord. If you have just one of those parts your relationship with God is going to be off balanced and not healthy, but when you understand and start to live all three parts out with your relationship with God, that begins the fear of the Lord.
I don't think it's a concidence that we studied about fear this week. Because last week Thursday two other girls and myself were mugged while walking in the community. It was defintely one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, yet I know that Jesus' blood was covering us and protecting us. I had many expenses things stolen from me, so my first reaction was angry. I was angry at the selfishness of these two men to take what didn't belong to them, and using violence to get what they wanted. The anger didn't last long as my heart began to break for not only these two men but this city of Jeffreys. I began to realize these men don't know the Lord, why wouldn't they take my stuff? They have no purpose in life, because they don't know Jesus. They have no hope. God completely broke me down that day, who am I to be angry? These things were not mine, everything I have belongs to God, and He gives and takes away. They are simply things. My heart contiunes to break for this city-for their wickedness, spirit of drunkness, and adultery. I pray that this city will be restored. That these people will find the hope that they so desperately need. God has continuely been working in me this week as I contiune to walk around the community visiting people, the fear wants to badly to rise up and take over. But I have contiunely ask myself the question do I fear men? Or do I fear God? I challenge you-how would your life look different if you truly starting to fear the Lord?

Thankyou so much everyone from CTK for your prayers. I definitely am blessed because of them! Please contiune to pray for:

-Safety while in the community

-A desperation for Jesus and His Salvation

-My class of 20 students- their home lives are SO rough. Pray protection, salvation, and his love over them.

-I would be BOLD and courageous.

Seeking His Heart,

-ellie

His Princess

Mon, 9 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

His Princess



She was weak and broken

Her home a shack

She was sick

Her health fading

She had the unspoken disease

Her body frail and thin

She was poor

Her family jobless

She was only twenty seven

Her life was but a breath

She was in constant pain

Her limbs aching

She hung on for so long

Her strength fierce

She couldn't hold on anymore

Her body gave in



She went home to Jesus today

Her body swept into His arms

She is strong ad whole now

Her body completely new

She is FREE

Her feet dancing on streets of gold

She is rich in Jesus

Her home in heaven

She is home

Her tears are no more

She has eternal joy

Her home is in Jesus' arms

She's with her King

He took His princess home today



Princess went home to be with Jesus on Sunday night. After a long and painful struggle, she is now free. Please 

pray for her husband and two little girls. Pray for comfort, strength, and His presence. 



Clinging to Him,

-ellie

beauty among chaos....

Mon, 9 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Monday Evening- February 9th 



Today was the start to a whole new week, and I was honestly so excited to see the



 kids and to give them hugs and kisses. These kids have become such a huge part of 



my life; I often forget how much they truly mean to me and how much I really do love



them. After having a long weekend, it was great to see them again. I start to wonder



what if will be like when I have to say goodbye to them in May. It's really to much



for me to handle on my own, so as soon as I do start to think about it I have to place



it back in God's hands. I have to live each day, one day at a time. The past 5 months



these people have been my family, my encouragement, my church congregation, and my



home. How could I possibly leave them behind and never come back? I ask myself that



question all the time, but then I am reminded that God knows the future and that



His plans for me are perfect and full of hope and life. 



Today class was beautiful. God has taught me to see beauty among the chaos, and 



shouting. To look at each one of these children and truly see them like Christ does.



They are still crazy, don't listen a majority of the time and a lot of times don't 



understand them, but its okay. God has shown me this weekend I am not there to get



them to sit completely still and have them understand every word I say. His love,



He has so freely given to me will flow from me to them, and that will make all the



difference. When they feel loved, heard, and genuinely cared for they will start



to respect me. But you see what I have also come to understand and know, it doesn't



matter if they remember me. When I leave in May and they are without a teacher it 



won't matter if they forget all the games we played, learned and all about me.



It will only matter if they are changed by God's love. When I leave in May I want



to leave a legacy of Christ's love. I want them to remember me as the teacher that



taught them all about the most important thing in life-Jesus.  



Please keep praying for my students. I usually have around twenty on a normal 



day. I have one boy that is completely deaf and mute. It is so like God, to place



 him in my class. As most of you know I know sign language and really have not been 



able to use it except in the church for special music and such. But God has given



me this great opportunity to teach him how to speak. I can't imagine how frustrating



it is to him not being to communicate to anyone his thoughts or feelings. He is 



amazingly a very well behaved boy, and is so eager to learn how to talk with his



hands. The kids all just received today a notebook of their own to write in every



day and do their work. I couldn't believe how their eyes just lit up when I gave



each student their own book. I have learned to see Christ even in the little things.



 -"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise."- Psalm 8:2a







Much Love,



-ellie

Glory of it All

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

It's Thursday afternoon and I find myself in a classroom with 22 kindergarten and first graders. I am at the chalk board teaching them the alphabet and their shapes. Thando and Akona hold up their papers yelling, "teacher, look at my paper!" Just as I am about to affirm their good work, Reeko yells to me, "Mom, Kay Kay hit me!" As I turn to discipline him, I am hit on the back and Nisha asks if she can use the toilet. I look back to see the other kids climbing on top the tables and the other waiting to hear the next letters for their alphabet. This week this has been a typical day at Ithemba for me. This year looks a lot different then last semester. My class is a lot bigger and I have many students that do not know me or English very well. For many of the kindergarten's this is their first time being around English, so it's very difficult for them to understand. I genuinely love each one of my students and look forward to each day with them, because I know that no matter how challenging it is and no matter how much my patience is tested, it's really building my character. It's also been teaching me how to become creative. Ithemba lacks the funds to have textbooks for each of the students, so it makes me bring out my creative side and create lessons for the kids and different things to teach the students.

House visits were amazing this week! God definitely has His hand on everything and is completely walking with us each day. I got to spend time with my new friend this week and get to know her a little better; it's been incredible to see how open she is and how much she truly wants to know who God is. Please pray that this friendship would be good for her and not a stumbling block to her in any way when I leave. I want to be simply an arrow pointing to Jesus and not someone that people need. I want to radiate Him.

Princess has been doing well! We had been praying that the pain in her side, heart and legs would leave her, and the other day she said the pain is gone from her side and heart! Praise God! Please pray for a miracle! Pray she would find joy in the Lord everyday!

Share Him Today,

-ellie

You are Chosen

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Today as Samantha and I were visiting Princess in her home, I noticed the woman in the shack next door. I had never seen her before, but she stayed busy hanging laundry and cleaning as I was busy tending to Princess outside as she got some fresh air. I noticed a man had walked into the woman's shack next door and they were now talking, but I didn't think the woman really had paid that much attention to us. After about 10 minutes being outside I took Princess inside, and was helping her get situated as the woman from next door came into the house and handed me a note without making any sort of eye contact. I read the note and this is what it said:

"I need help. Can you pray for my boyfriend to change his mind

to go to the clinic for a check up. Because I am a victim of HIV positive also.

I'm so afraid to tell you face to face

And what people will say about me because they don't know."

After I finished reading the note she fell into my arms and wept. Words can not explain to you what I felt as I held this young woman not much older then me weeping in my arms. She remained in my arms as I prayed for her and then told her I would come by one day soon to talk and visit more. Then she walked away. It all happened within a matter of minutes. It felt like a whirlwind. I kept asking myself and God what just happened as I walked back home today. My heart is full as I heart this. I wish I could explain to the shame I saw on her face and the hurt that filled her eyes as for the first time she had let her secret out. Or they way if felt to have her crying in my arms. I honestly still don't know what to say. I do know that it was no mistake that I was there today at the right time. I am going to go back and visit her and get to know her and her story. God is so faithful. I have been asking God to bring someone into my life that He wants me to disciple, and she just might be the one. I looked back to my journal entry from this morning and I had wrote, "Will you use me today? Amidst my confusion, emotions and inadequacy, will you still use me? If that means praying, loving or speaking out."

Let God use you and be ready to be surprised!

Please pray for my new friend, that she will feel she can trust me and open up to me. Pray she will be open to Jesus, and His promise of eternal life.

Pressing On,

-ellie

Ready for Battle

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Saturday Night-(Jan 17th)

Today was our first day of intentional ministry. Samantha, Alexis, and I visited Princess today and brought her some fresh fruit and some other food. Every day before we have gone I have tried to bathe it in prayer, never knowing what I am going into. Some days afraid that I might find her lying there...gone. Today she was not doing well at all. She was breathing heavy and was so weak, that she didn't want to get out of bed to go outside. She said her heart and side hurt, and that her legs were aching also. It was beautiful to see her daughter Precious lying asleep next to her. We visited with Princess for a while, and she told us about how much she missed church and wished she could go, but she knew she wouldn't be able to sit that long or get there in any way. Sam and I thought right away that we could just have church right there with her. So we are planning on going tomorrow morning and having church in her house-we will read the bible and sing. She loves to sing! She told us her favorite song is Jesus Loves Me, and then started to sing it. We all joined in with her, around her bed singing Jesus Loves me. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't imagine anything more beautiful then this- Princess lying in her bed, so sick, but still singing to her Savior. I am excited to see what lies ahead for tomorrow. I also tried to visit my new friend, but she was not home. I am seeking God and his wisdom that I would have the words to speak to her and bring her Jesus at the right time.

Please stay on your knees on behalf of these two ladies.

Hidden In Him,

-ellie

-Wednesday Night(Jan 21st)

"To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure..

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn." - Psalm 18:25-26, 32-36

I read this yesterday in my quiet time, and I felt so encouraged! It's so easy to just get into a routine here and just go to Ithemba every day. But as I read this verse about God showing Himself faithful to those that are faithful, it made my spirit quicken and want to haste the time I have here in Africa. This week in discipleship we have been studying Romans, and it's has been encouraging, challenging, and convicting. Today we talked about how we need to wake up and live each day like it was the day of Christ- like His kingdom was coming today. If you really chew on that and let it sink in, it will mess you up. It should change us. How would your life and mine look different if Christ was coming back this very day? Would we share Jesus with our neighbor that we see every day, but have choose to keep putting it off for another day. Would we change the way we speak to our family, spouse, and kids? Would we see the homeless person on the street as a lost soul, instead of a project or a pain to deal with? Oh, how I pray that my life would every day be lived as the day of Christ.

On Sunday we got to have church with Princess. It was beautiful. I read from John 14- about God preparing a place for us one day and also read a few psalms, then we sang some worship music, and she loved it! My new friend also is so open and is searching! We have started to build a friendship, and I know that God completely has His hand on this.

We officially started Ithemba today. It was so crazy, but so fun! I have been moved up to the first grade class so that I can stay with my students from last year. We had 60 kids today ranging from age 3-14. I am excited to see what this new year will bring and how God will speak to the kids about His love for them.

Please pray that God would grant me discernment, wisdom and I would be attentive to the Holy Spirit's leading in this friendship.

Pray that my new friend would truly thirst and hunger for Jesus Christ

Pray that the pain Princess is experiencing would leave her body.

Pray that Ithemba would be a safe, loving and healthy environment for the kids to come to learn and play.

His Forever-

-ellie

JBAY!

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

(Written last week, just was able to post it!)

I write to you all on a warm summer night in Jeffreys BaySouth Africa. It's hard to believe that nine days ago I was in 5 degree weather and snow falling all around me. I got back to Jeffreys last Tuesday and got settled into our new house and also smaller team. My team is 11 girls and two female leaders. I am excited to see how God is going to use our all girl team to show His power and might through us.
I ran into ministry this week so excited about my new schedule and to see what God had planned. My new schedule this year will be Monday and Wednesday's discipleship in the morning and my Ithemba ministry in afternoon. On Tues and Thurs will be full days of ministry. House visits in the mornings and Ithemba in the afternoon. House visits are new for me, but I am so excited about it. I am on a team with Faith and Alexis. Alexis has done house visits previously so we will be visiting the people she has already made relationships with to maintain those, but we might also meet some new people. House visits are simply making relationships with the people in the townships. -Being a part of their every day life whatever that might look like rather it is: washing clothes, playing with their kids, watching TV with them, or talking for hours. It was so good to go back to Ithemba this week. I had missed the kids so much, and it was so great to see them again and have them genuinely happy and excited to have me back. This is the start of a new school year for them, so we have been preparing and getting ready for the new school year this week, because school will start again on January 21st for them. I get to be with my same class! So I will be moving up to grade 1! So the last few days have been full of: cleaning, preparing curriculum, and organizing. Friday's will be our free day this year instead of Saturday's and Saturday instead will be family ministry in the morning and intentional ministry in the afternoon. Family ministry will really be a variety of everything, simply just a ministry our whole team can do together, because we rarely get to work all together. Intentional ministry will be really anything that I want it to be. I would really like to spend that time with the women from Ithemba. Spending time in their homes and building those relationships stronger. So there it is! A rundown of my life this next semester! Chase after Him!

Much Love from Africa,

-ellie

Daughter of the King

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I don't know where you are as you read this blog. If you are in your home just finishing the dishes, sitting by your desk at work or taking a break from studying at Starbucks. I don't know if you ate breakfast this morning or what you chose to wear. But wherever you are, I want to take you on a journey for a few minutes. It is thousand's of miles away from where you are now, but right now that doesn't matter either.

I want you to imagine you're in Africa. Jeffreys Bay, South Africa to be exact. You're not by the ocean, or out in the dessert like so many would think, you are in the Tokoyo Sexwhale community. You are in a little shack about the size of my bathroom at home in America. The home consists of a bed, a cupboard, a bench, clothes on the floor and a few dishes. There's no AC or windows, in fact the temperature in the house is quite miserable. The "counter top" is covered with scraps of food, dirty dishes and flies and other creatures swarming and crawling where they wish. You look around feeling kind of out of place and as if you are the richest person on earth. You think back to just a minute ago when you were sitting in your home with electricity or your work place with thousands of dollars filtering in and out constantly and you wish you could just disappear back to that normal/comfortable place again. As your mind comes back to the present you notice the woman lying on the bed. You are speechless. You have never in your life seen/experienced this before. You remember your manners and ask her, her name. Princess she says. You realize the woman lying there has AIDS. Her body is scarcely anything besides bones, her legs about the size of your wrists. You learn she really doesn't know how many days she has left. She has been getting progressively worst, and without money to purchase medicine or the right kind of food, it's virtually impossible to get well. A little girl peeks her head inside the door, and she says her name is, Precious. She is three years old and her name definitely matches her personality. Precious crawls beside her mother Princess, and tears fill your eyes as you realize Precious' days with her mother are getting short.

You are probably wondering why I took you on that journey. Well, because that has been my journey for the last week. One of my team mates (Samantha) and I have been visiting Princess, and her story is definitely true and definitely real. Princess is only twenty eight years old, but her body is so weak and frail. Sam and I have been going to visit her, we carry her out of her bed and bring her outside to get a little bit of fresh air, since she is confined to her bed all day, because she is alone and not able to get out of bed on her own. Her daughter Precious is such a burst of life. She smiles, laughs and plays like a normal happy three year old, unaware of the critical condition of her mother. We really don't know how many more days Princess has, but we do know that she loves Jesus with all her heart and will one day be home in heaven with Him.

As I walked back home today after being with Princess, I realized how fitting and perfect her name is. This precious daughter of the King is lying hopeless on her bed, while her King holds her up in His cable hands and gives her strength for each new day. She clings to Him for life itself.

Do you?

Chasing After Him,

-ellie

I'll be home for Christmas....!

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Hey Everyone!

Well, I finished my last day of ministry today until next semester. I can't believe how fast these past three months have flown by! On Monday my team goes to St. Francis Bay, a bay about 30 minutes from here to do our team debrief. It will be a great time of reflection and relaxation for the last time with my whole team. As when we come back in January we will be split up into our three different locations- here, Port Elizabeth, and Swaziland. Then on Friday I will be flying home for two weeks! I am so excited to see everyone, but yet my heart is defintely still here. I will be so excited to come back here in January.

Please contiune to pray for Lusanda and Aya. They are constantly on my heart and in my thoughts as I think about the way she is treated daily by her husband and the sickness she lives with. Yesterday we spent the day with her and Aya at their house, washing laundry and just hanging out. We played a game called "hot seat", for 3 minutes we could ask her any question we thought of and then someone else would take the seat. We asked her what her biggest fear was and she said- " my fear is that I would die any day and not be able to see Aya grow up and become a man." I sat in silence not knowing how to respond, she then asked me if I could take Aya home with me for a year or two so he could learn English and live a good life. I told her I would take him home in heartbeat, but that it wasn't that easy. I tell you all this, so you can just catch a glimpse at what people's lives are like here. They need our prayers! Also, if any of you would like to donate kids clothes or supplies for ministry at Ithemba just let me know!

Such as- construction paper

notebooks

crayons

pencils

erasers

glue

and any craft supplies

My email address is: imspokenfor@hotmail.com

I will see you all very soon!

I'll be home for Christmas!

I AM big enough

Tue, 9 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Dear Friends and Family,

I write to you all with many thoughts in my head and many things on my heart. I want to share with you what has been happening since last wed here in Jeffreys Bay. It all started on Thursday. Our team of 14 girls for next semester for the JBay team met together to spend time in prayer. We spent about a hour in prayer and being led by the spririt. I begged God, that He would break my heart for what breaks His, and that He would give me a holy rage for the injustice in this city. Well, He started to answer my prayers immediately as I went to Ithemba that day, CoCo a little 5 year old boy that lives with his father that drinks all the time, and his 9 year old sister that takes care of him. We found out that if we were to give clothes to CoCo for Christmas, that his father would take them away and sell them for liquor, and put dirty clothes on him again. I couldn't believe it, a father would take his own child's clothes and sell them to feed his addiction.

My team then learned about what is going on in Zimbabwe. They have had an outbreak of cholra, that has killed close to 600 people, and has infected over 12,000. The president/ruler of Zimbabwe has refused to do anything about it, and has chosen to ignore the problem. The 6 largest hospitals have been closed, because of no medicine or medical supplies. There is simply no food or water to drink in the country, so people have started to eat bugs to simply survive. There are people here I have become friends with, that are from Zimbabwe and have gone back to visit their country and try to provide aid. They left last Friday and will return on the 20th of December.

Please remember these guys in your prayers: Melvin, Calvin, Ricky and Arthur

My heart grew heavy as the day went on and I wondered how I could even begin to help or make a difference in these people's lives. I didn't think I could handle going out that night and doing more ministry.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, there is a group of about 5 or 6 of us that hang out with the street kids for about a hour and give them bread and just get to know them. The street kids are a group of about 15-20 boys, and one girl that literally live on the streets of JBay. They beg for food, sleep on the streets and spend most of the day getting high-sniffing glue. I told God, I couldn't do this tonight, but with His strength I would press on. Satan defintely knew that God was at work, because he tried to show up right away. We were in a conversation with one of the boys, probably the most deep coversation we have had the whole year. Blair, one of my teammates was talking to the boys about how everything is impossible without God. That they can try as hard as they want to stop smoking, sniffing glue and drinking, but without God it is impossible. The boys were really listening, when a man that was pretty much crazy came up and started to speak in Afrikaans to the boys. Clearly angry at them and us for what we were doing. We tried to greet the man, but he wouldn't even look at us. Satan's first attempt. The man eventually walked away, and we got to pray with the boys.

The next situation we came across was Jonathan (10 year old) crying because another boy had stolen his glue. He was so upset he wouldn't even look at us, he sat there with his head in his arms, crying. All I could think about was -this is just like my brother. He is just a little 10 year old boy that wants to be loved and accepted. As we sat there with Jonathan in silence, a angry fisherman came up and started rattling over in Afrikaans. He showed us a bite on his chest, that he had received from another fisherman that had gotten angry at him for taking another job. He talked about how the fisherman here have gone mad. How they have riots about every 3 days, breaking cars and homes, and getting into fights. I tried to put myself in his shoes, and imagine what his life was like, as I did, I tried to hold back the tears and listen to this man's pain. My heart broke. As we walked back, I started to ask God the hard questions that I had chosen not to dare ask Him. "Why God?"

That night we had a time of worship. I sat there not being able to sing- "He is Good." I sat there weeping over what I had seen and crying out to God asking why the pain, why the injustice, why He said in His word He would not leave us as orphans, but come to us. But yet here where boys clearly orphans and alone. As I wept and doubted God's goodness, I realized that God had completely answered my prayer from that morning. My heart was feeeling the pain that God feels for these people. My heart was breaking over the things that break His heart. I went to bed that night with a heavy heart, not knowing what to do with this burden that I now carried.

The next morning (Friday) we went as a small group to St. Francis Bay. A beautiful bay about 30 minutes from Jeffreys. They gave us a hour to be alone and spend time with God. As I sat there in silence, listening to the crashing waves, the sun's heat beaming down on me and everything in place. God spoke to me so clearly like so many other times. "Ellen, I AM big enough. I am bigger then Zimbabwe. I am bigger then the pain of Africa. I am bigger then the fisherman's strike. I AM this big. Look around, I created this." I realized at that moment that I had taken the burden of this all on me, but had not laid it down on his feet. I had been trying on my own to save these people, and forgotten I cannot. But God can.

I don't have the answers, and I can't save the world or these people. But I know the Creator of the universe that CAN. And I have chosen to rest in that.

Running After Him,

-Ellie

I will never leave you

Mon, 1 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"I will never leave you....."

If someone told you that, would you believe them? Now it probably depends upon the friendship and how deep it goes, but in most cases you wouldn't be 100% sure they could keep that promise. This last week I've realized I've lived my whole life thinking like that-constantly doubting anyone would really never leave me. I've never really believed there is someone in my life that will never truly leave me. People change. Life happens.

Last Monday I was completely in the pits, homesick, and feeling alone. I tried to call several friends from back home to speak with, but nothing helped. I cried out to God-"I am so alone! Everyone leaves, I've had to say goodbye to my family, friends, in a couple weeks 2/3 of my team, and my african friends. Why doesn't anything stay the same, God?"

I looked up to see a verse from Hebrews 13:5 written on my journal- "I will never leave you." God spoke directly to my heart, to the deepest hurt I was feeling. I looked back at the past 19 years of my life and I saw He was so right. He has never left me- through my childhood, my highschool years, last year at Bible School, and to bringing me here to Africa. He has held my hand every step of the way and when needed carried me in His arms. When I have to say goodbye to the people in Africa that have become so dear to me- He will still never leave me. I feel my thoughts on life have completely changed since grasping and finally believing that one simple truth that God tells each one of us. Now that I understand that for me- what a comfort to know that, that is his promise for the people here. When I leave in May God will not leave Lusanda, Aya, Victor, Coco, and Thando. He loves them so much more then me.

I challenge you today to hang onto that, to really wrestle with how your life and be different. Because He- the Creator of the earth will never leave you.

Blessed

Mon, 1 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

What would you buy with $1.30? It couldn't buy much, maybe a burger at McDonald's or a can of soda. What would you do if that was your wage per hour, while you tried to raise your children, clothe them, feed them and send them to school. But the money you worked for you had to hide, because else your husband would take it and use it for his liquor addiction.

This is the life of my dear friend Lusanda that I have talked about in my previous blogs. She works at Ithemba every day and brings her 5 year old son Aya. I've spent al ot of time getting to know her and hearing her story has broken my heart. Her husband Shaun has been out of of work for 5 months, because the fisherman here in Jeffreys Bay are on strike. The money she works for, a lot of times is taken for his addiction. She strives to put food on the table, she said she prays daily for God to put food in her cupboards. The other weekend I spent a saturday with her and Aya helping and learning to hand wash her laundry. Her house is the size of my parents bedroom. They have one bed for her, Shaun and Aya, and now her sister and two cousins are moving in. They will be a houseful of six people in that little home. Lusanda doesn't know how she will pay for Aya's school fees and also now the two cousisn that are moving in, and more mouths to feed. Yet she is so strong-she carries the HIV sickness in her body daily, but yet she carries the joy of the Lord.

I've been struggling with why this is the life she lives and why this is the life I live. Why is America "so blessed" like they say? I beg to differ! I see Africa now compared to America, and I can't truly say America is blessed. Yes, we have everything we could ever want- starbucks, food at our fingertips, ipods, camera's, big screen tv's and brand name clothing. But is this what blessed means? In Matthew 5, God says- Blessed is the meek, Blessed are the poor in spirit, and Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.

I see in the faces and eyes of the people here in Africa their true pure love for God, their sincerity and vunerability. They have little, hurt much, but yet they still praise Him. If America is so blessed and we say 'God Bless America', do we say it because we want more stuff? Or do we truly want God to bless us- by breaking our hearts, shaking our world upside down and living in radical obedience to Him. We in America talk about how corrupt the other countries are, but what about us? We allow abortion, homesexuality, our idenitity is in our stuff, the divorce rate is recklessly hight and 1 in every 4 girls has been raped. We claim to love and know God, but our lives are far from it. How can we be the first to open our mouths and point a finger when we don't live it ourselves?

God has completely changed my view of the world. When I came to Africa, I honestly thought that America was the best country in the world, but now I see all countries equal. I see the corruption here no doubt, but I see it in America and everywhere else as well.

I wish I could take everyone of you here with me to experience what life is like. To meet Lusanda, Aya and the kids at Ithemba. To experience the worship at Ithemba on Sunday mornings, and hear the simple, straight to the heart message given by Pastor George. To see the homes, the segeration and to weep for the brokeness of Jeffreys Bay. But I know that is not possible. But oh, how I pray God would burden your hearts, the hearts of the American people, not just for Africa, but for your country. America.

Get down on your knees and weep for the state of brokeness America is in. Then dust yourselve off, stand up and do something about it!

Running After Him,

-Ellie

Greatest In The Kingdom

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I wanted to tell you all a little more about Ithemba. It is my ministry here in Jeffrey's Bay. It is a nafter school program that is in the townships. The townships are the very rough and poor part of town. I work there every day from 1-5pm. Some days are rough, but I love it. The day starts out just playing with the kids for about a half hour, then lunch time, then a bible story for a half hour. At three o clock we split up into classes. I teach grade R which is Kindergarten. I have 5 to 6 students that about 5 years old. Right now I am teaching them how to write their name and also the alphabet. It is very challenging at times with the language barrier, but God defintely helps me each step of the way. Then at four o clock we have an activity planned for them, either- music, games or a craft. The day then ends at five. There is about 50-60 each day at Ithemba- most all of them come from broken homes. Homes with single parents, grandparents or really no one to watch them at all.

I would like to ask you all to pray for Thando. He is in my grade R class. On Wednesday I noticed he wasn't acting himself and his eyes were both really red. He was holding his head and said it really hurt. He feel asleep in my arms and slept there for over a hour. I found out that he has bad eyes and probably needs glasses, but his mother doesn't have money to afford to take him to the eye doctor. So right then I decided that I would do that. I talked to the Nomsa (one of the women at Ithemba) and she said the mother was fine with it and would be very pleased. So Chels and I will be taking him to the eye doctor on Monday to find out what's wrong. It might be a lot serious then we think and he could need surgery or it could just be he needs glasses. Please pray that would be the case! Pray that the money would be provided from my team that Thando needs for this treatment.

I can't believe I only have seven weeks left until I come home for Christmas-time has flown by! I've enjoyed every moment of being stretched and taken out of my comfort zone. Thank you for your prayers- it is such a comfort to know I am lifted up daily to the King of Kings!

Love you all!

Beat The Drum

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Wow! How the time flys! I didn't realize it's been 3 weeks since I have last written! To all my supporters- I am sorry!

I am so excited to tell you about last week in Summerset East, South Africa. We traveled there on October 10 for about 8 days to do a program called Beat The Drum based off the movie about a boy who tries to help his village that is dying of AIDS. I got to stay in a South African home with a couple a sweet couple Elmar and Andre. Their hospitality was overwhelming -I loved every mintute of it. On Saturday and Sunday we had intense training on the material we were going to be teaching in the schools. I was paired up with Davie a guy from my team who's from New Jersey. We taught in a black school named Johnson, and taught twenty eight 10th graders. The week was absolutely amazing! We taught them about values, aids, abstience, and lastly we presented the gopsel. The class totally came together and united. They were very open, honest and vunerable with us. Every day we went to the school and taught for one hour. (1:30-2:30) On Thursday Davie and I thought we would have 3 hours to prepare in the morning, but found out at 8:30 that morning that we would need to be at the school in a half hour at 9am! I wanted to panic-we had nothing prepared! But God quickly reminded me that He had everything under control- and this was gonna teach me to fully depend and listen to the Holy Spirit. So Davie and I prayed about the day and went in totally relying on God. The day was amazing! The mood in the class that day was serious and to the point. We really drew the point across that if they didn't turn their life around 2 out of every 5 students would die within 4 years. That really hit some kids hard. One kid told us that if he didn't change he knew he was gonna die. Then Davie presented the gospel and the Holy Spirit spoke through him so clearly. 17 of 28 students accepted Christ! We got to pray with each student one on one to accept Christ. Then almost all of them decided to abstain from sex until marriage- it was incredible! God defintely moved in their hearts. Some girls came up to me after class for prayer and to talk.

I built a relationship with a girl named Zihkona who is 16. She is a very sweet, who wants to live to honor Jesus. I felt God telling me to give her one of my rings so that she could have a purity ring to remind her of her commitment to Christ and her future husband. The next day Davie and I took the class down to the youth center in town to get tested for AIDS. I was prepared for the worst- but by the grace of God every student tested negative! What a miracle! We got to pray with each student after they got tested and praise God for His grace. It was so amazing to see how God brought my class together as a body and family in Christ. It was hard to leave Summerset East the next day, but I left with a heart of joy and graditude at what God had done through me.

Keep praying for Summerset East! Pray they will remain faithful in their decisions to Christ and to purity!

Til Next Time,

Pics

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Hey I have put up a couple pictures-check them out! Also a blog is coming soon! I am sorry it's been so long!

I am Chosen

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I wanted to share with you all about how God has been challenging and growing me spiritually. A couple weeks ago I felt God was silent in my prayer life. I could not hear His voice and was starting to get discouraged. Then during my quiet time one day I read this in my Out Most For His Highest-"When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible- with absolute silence, not a silence of despair but one of pleasure, because He saw you could withstand an even bigger revelation."- Oswald Chambers

I was so excited and earnest to see what He wanted to reveal to me. Well, last week at Beat The Drum in Summerset East, during my God time He clearly and totally revealed Himself to me His love for like I had never known before. He brought me to Is 62:5 "As a bridge groom rejoices over His bride so will your God rejoice over you." In that God showed me a perfect picture of what God designed marriage to be. God is like my husband- He chases after me with reckless love- He is jealous for every part of me. He has called me to surrender on this trip like I have never before- not because He wants me to be miserable, but because He wants the best for me. He calls me to surrender so He can be more intimate with me. He calls me by name, He pursues me. He wants my marriage to one day be a picture of His love for me. Divorcce was never His idea. How can something that He has joined be separated? God and I are one in spirit. That is just a short verision of what God revealed to me.

This past week in discipleship has amazingly tied into it all. We were taught about our identity in Christ. Mon, Wed, Friday is big group Discipleship. Tues and Thurs is small group discipleship/ discussion. On Monday we learned about-Who Christ Is and how we have a messed up view of God is probably good. But if we have had parents that are passive, abusive, or love recieved by performance, that is going to be the way we view Christ. We were called to forgive our parents for their mistakes and to seek Christ for who He truly is. On Wednesday was a rough day. The sesssion was called -Who Am I? At the end of the sesssion we were each given our own small mirrors with our names on it. We had to look at ourselves for like 15 minutes asking ourselves, "who do I see when I look in the mirror?" It was so hard to look past the flaws I see, and to see who I really am and to what God see's when He looks at me. Then I took off my world given name(ellen) on the mirror to see underneath who God says I am. It read " I am glorious." I wept. My name Ellen actually means: bright one, light. It was an incredible time of healing and renewal. God has been challenging me daily to see myself as He does-chosen, glorious, adopted and perfect.

On Friday(yesterday) we learned about Winning The Battle in your mind. I learned how every thought I have I need to take captive instead of dwelling on it, then it becomes an action and what I think about myself. We spent about a hour in prayer by ourselves asking God to show us lies from Satan that we have been believing for years that have effected the way we live. God completely opened my eyes to lies from Satan that I have believed that I could have never thought of or remembered on my own. Then we had a time of prayer ministry with the leaders- they walked us prayerfully through living in freedom, breaking the lies and strongholds of Satan, getting mad at Satan, rejoicing in God's freedom, forgiving those who brought lies into my life, asking for forgiveness for beliving the lies and finally choosing to live in that freedom. What a burden taken off! My spirit was light again!

I wanted to share that with you because I was discouraged for a while thinking and wondering why God was silent. But look at the healing and revelation He had for me waiting around the corner. I challenge you not to give up in your prayer life- be a prayer warrior-press in, press on!

Til Next Time,

Serving in Africa,

Ellen

Beautiful African Faces

Wed, 1 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

My Dear Family and Friends,

I write to you today with a broken and heavy heart. I am gonna try my best to put into words what is going on here at Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa.

I must start first with what is so heavily on my heart. I work with three women at my minstry called Ithemba each have different roles at this ministy and have a passion for their community. This last week I have gotten to know Loucinda- she is a beautiful woman who loves to sing, dance, and and laugh. She has a contagious smile:) She has alot of responsibilty at Ithemba, but works diligently and has a wondeful sense of humor. The other day while we were speaking she humbly told me she had no deordant left at home and was worried she would smell to others. She asked if I would bring her some. I was completely humbled that she would ask, my prideful heart would never have been able to do it. So that is exactly what I brought to her the next day.

Another beautiful face I have gotten to know is Aya. He is a little five year old boy with tons of engery. He has the sweetest smile and laugh and loves to play and be a normal kid. The more I've gotten to play and get to know him- the more God has completely filled me with love for Aya. On sunday I found out that Aya is Loucinda's son and that their situation is not very good. My leader told me Loucinda's story- about her husband's abuse, and the way he spends his money on achocol, and how Loucinda is worried about Aya and the unsafe neighbor they have to live in. She then told me Loucinda has AIDS. I was completely shocked. I didn't know how to handle it or how to react. This life that I thought was so vibrant and healthy was completely sick inside with AIDS. I wanted to be mad at God, but I knew I couldn't. God didn't want this either. It is Tuesday and I am still processing it all and trying to talk about it. I never realized the helplessness I'd feel. So do I have the answers. No. But God is trying to teach me that's okay. I just need to run to Him- He is my refuge. When I want to run away from the pain in this city- God wants me to run into it with open arms of love for these people.

On Friday my whole team of 55 will be traveling to Summerset East, which is about 3 hours away, to do a ministry called Beat The Drum. We will be there for 8 days- teaching about AIDS- how to prevent it, take care of it, and sharing God's love. We will be helping the kids in school, the farmers, business workers, and townspeople. Please really pray for this! God has huge plans for this project and Satan defintely does not want it to be a success.

Pray for:

Funds would be provided for Beat The Drum

The spirit of sickness would leave my team this has been overtaken with sickness

Loucinda and Aya- their safety and health

God would keep breaking my heart for what breaks His

I have so much more to say, but not enough time. Please keep praying- God is doing amazing things here! He has a plan for the people of Jeffreys Bay.

Broken in Him,

Ellen

Ithemba:)

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I don't know where to start! To everyone I am sorry it's been so long since a real post. Life since I've got to JBay has been busy! To back up a little we arrived last Tuesday and I had no luggage I was so disappointed, but faithfully prayed and knew God would provide. He did! On thursday it arrived just in time for us to leave for "the bush" on friday for the weekend. So we all piled into vans and drove a little over a hour away. It was defintely "the bush." We were out in the middle of no where! We drove through and up into the mountains and finally arrived at our destination after rugged crazy roads ( that I thought our vans might just fall off of). There was little cabins to stay in, campfires to keep us warm, cook our food and a long drop for a bathroom. It was defintely out of my element and comfort zone. It was litterally freezing- 35degrees at night! I survived though:) We had team building, repelling down a cliff, and many other things. It was a good growing experience for me and it made me totally rely on God for everything. We got back sunday night and I went right to bed:)

Yesterday we found out what ministry we will be involved in for the next 3 months. We had all been praying about it all weekend and seeking God to see where He wants us. I was chosen to be in a ministry called Ithemba. It is about a ten minute walk from our house and it is a type of after school program/ daycare. The younger children that aren't in school yet are there all day, but the older ones arrive at about one when they get out of school. I am going to be working with the littles ones ages 3-5. I am SO excited! Yesterday we just went in and learned about the program and observed. Our ministry team is eight people- immediately when we walked in, we were human juggle gyms. The kids climbed on us and came running giving us hugs. My heart was filled. We played with the kids for about 2 hours. The time fly by! The kids faces are like the face of Jesus to me. Jesus is asking me each time I hold a child, "will you serve me today?" At times my flesh wanted to cry out and say "these kids are dirty and smell." But the love God has for me and these children shown through. How could I not love these children, when Christ has chosen to love me despite my sin and junk. I am so excited to see what God has planned. I know His plans are going to be amazing!
So today we go back to Ithemba and start offically with the classes and programs. Each day will look a little different in the morning. It will be some kind of discipleship program. Either small groups or a large group setting. Then in the afternoon it will be our ministry from 1-5.

Thank you all for your prayers! I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to know that I am daily lifted up before the King of Kings in your prayers. You are all in my thoughts and prayers throughout the day as well. May God Bless you as you have been a blessing to me.

Serving The King,

Scavenger Hunt

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Hey everybody!

Just needed to post this for the game we are playing today in JBay. It's a little scavenger hunt around the city! It's beautiful here today! Sunny and a little windy! The waves are huge! I think this might be the most beautiful place I have ever seen!

More Later!

I am here!

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Hey Everyone!
This is going to be short- but I just wanted to let you know that I am here safe and sound!

We arrived last night at around 11pm. I am here- but my luggage is not! It got lost somewhere along the way- so please pray that it would arrival soon! I have been learing through this trial- God is all I NEED. The next couple days will be kinda laid back just getting to know the town and resting. Thankyou so much for all your prayers! I can defintely feel them! JBay is a beautiful town and I can't wait to see what is ahead!

God Bless you all!

I died today...

Sat, 6 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"It's the greatest poverty to decide that a child must die so

that you may live as you wish."- Mother Teresa

As I have been packing my things this week and trying to somehow wrap my mind around the idea of leaving for nine months- The Lord has been teaching me throught it all. It seems no matter what the circumstance He teaches, convicts or brings excitement to me. As I sat surrounded by my clothes, bedding, electronics, and all my stuff. My heart was heavy with sorrow and regret for the way I've clung to my possessions. Things I thought I could easily give up, but now realizing how hard it is. I've been so convicted of the way I can so easily spend money on myself-buying a drink at starbucks, going out to eat. But when it comes to spending on others- my flesh cries out. Oh, sometimes the pain of dying to self. I pray that everyday I would die to my flesh and it's sinful desires. So that when others look at me they don't see Ellen, but Jesus Christ.

I will be getting up at the crack of dawn on Monday morning at leaving at 5am with my family to drive to Minneapolis to catch my flight to Atlanta. My friend Sarah is also going to South Africa- which I thank God for! It will be so nice to have a fimilar face:) We will arive that afternoon in Atlanta and the leaders will meet us there and take us to the week long training camp in Gainsville. I am not sure if I will be able to write again til I am in South Africa. We will be flying out on the 15th to SA. It will be a 14-15 hour flight! So PRAY!

I will write as often as I can- please pray for:

------Unity among the team of 41 of us

------- No fear

-------Broken, repentant hearts in training

------- Strength and endurance for training camp

Thanks so much for all your prayers! I appreciate every single one of you!

Address in Jeffrey's Bay

Thu, 4 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Hey Everyone! If you would like to send me a letter when I am in South Africa here is the address:

Ellen Amdahl

AIM Jeffrey's Bay

PO Box 921

Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa 6330

I can receive letters or packages- it might take a little while but I will get them eventually! Thanks so much! Hope to hear from all of you!

Are You Rich?

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The other night I was watching the forums on tv with the two presidental candiates. One of the questions asked of them was: "What is rich?" Seems like a pretty simple question, right? Well they answered the question saying diferents amounts and listing different possessions that would make an individual rich. As I sat their listening I kept thinking about the the rich young man that Jesus spoke with. He obeyed God in every area, the man told Jesus. He did not commit adultery, do not steal, murder, disobey his parents and he had loved his neighbor as himself. Yet, Jesus knowing his hearts and ours, told the man- "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessiong and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." (Mat 19:21)

So did the young man run immediately and sell everything he had? No, you know what He did? "He went away sad, because he had great wealth" (v. 22). I am so convicted when I read that. How often am I like that rich young man. Knowing what Jesus has told me to give up to follow Him, yet I hunch back and say- "No, God not that." Jesus boldly told the man to give up everything he had and He promised he would recieve treasure in heaven. Wow! Jesus even promised a treasure, but yet him and I get to caught up in the 'stuff of earth' to realize what we are truly missing. Am I willing to give up everything I own to recieve the treasure of heaven? If I lost everything I had tonight would I be completely content and satisfied in God that I would not care? Or do I clutch onto my earthly things and not choose to follow Him with everything even my life. Would I be faithful to Jesus even to the point of death?
I ask myself these questions, but also ask yourself would you follow Jesus no matter what the cost? And oh, how I pray that God would shape my heart into His. I pray my only passion in life would be to follow Jesus with all my heart. That no matter what happens in life, no matter what I lose, I will always say- "Here I am, I will follow You, Jesus."