As I am studying for finals and and finishing my first year at the Bible School I look back and am amazed at how fast this year has gone. I look back to who I was when I came and who I am now. How much God has worked in my life. When I came I had no idea what the future held for me after Bible School and was scared to step into the real world outside of my little bubble in South Dakota. And now, I stll have no idea what will happen in Africa and after that, but now I am okay with that. I’ve seen how many lost people there is no matter where you are at. Rather I am at home during break or on the streets here in the city.
If I was to say in a nut shell the things God has been teaching me this year it would be:
GRACE and SURRENDER
Two popular words in the christian life, but two words that are hard to understand. My life has been marked by surrender in every area. Every time I feel like I have given every part of my life to Him- He shows me something else, and asks “what about this, Ellen?” How can I not give Him everything when He has given ME everything. It is oh, so painful at times, but oh, the freedom. There is nothing better knowing you are living in the freedom Christ.
GRACE – I never realized until this year how hard it is for me to accept Grace. All my life I have been trying. Trying to show God that I can do better, that I will never do it again. How silly. How could I promse my Savior such a thing. I try and fall flat on my face. I have learned I am not under the law, but under grace. I need to stop trying. And just rest. Rest in the Grace of Jesus. Yesterday as I came before God to start my devo’s, I didn’t know what to say. I was so ashamed of my sins, feeling like all I had done the past few days was mess up. I thought to myself I have to promise Him I’ll never do it again I need to do something before I can come before Him. But as I sat there in silence, God spoke to me: “For by grace you have been saved by faith, it is not of youselves, if is the gift of God.” I can do NOTHING. God simply wants me to come before Him broken. I can not explain to you how freeing it is knowing it is nothing I do, it is God alone who can make me holy and just.
I pray this encourages you!
