I wanted to share with you all about how God has been challenging and growing me spiritually. A couple weeks ago I felt God was silent in my prayer life. I could not hear His voice and was starting to get discouraged. Then during my quiet time one day I read this in my Out Most For His Highest-“When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible- with absolute silence, not a silence of despair but one of pleasure, because He saw you could withstand an even bigger revelation.”- Oswald Chambers
I was so excited and earnest to see what He wanted to reveal to me. Well, last week at Beat The Drum in Summerset East, during my God time He clearly and totally revealed Himself to me His love for like I had never known before. He brought me to Is 62:5 “As a bridge groom rejoices over His bride so will your God rejoice over you.” In that God showed me a perfect picture of what God designed marriage to be. God is like my husband- He chases after me with reckless love- He is jealous for every part of me. He has called me to surrender on this trip like I have never before- not because He wants me to be miserable, but because He wants the best for me. He calls me to surrender so He can be more intimate with me. He calls me by name, He pursues me. He wants my marriage to one day be a picture of His love for me. Divorcce was never His idea. How can something that He has joined be separated? God and I are one in spirit. That is just a short verision of what God revealed to me.
This past week in discipleship has amazingly tied into it all. We were taught about our identity in Christ. Mon, Wed, Friday is big group Discipleship. Tues and Thurs is small group discipleship/ discussion. On Monday we learned about-Who Christ Is and how we have a messed up view of God is probably good. But if we have had parents that are passive, abusive, or love recieved by performance, that is going to be the way we view Christ. We were called to forgive our parents for their mistakes and to seek Christ for who He truly is. On Wednesday was a rough day. The sesssion was called -Who Am I? At the end of the sesssion we were each given our own small mirrors with our names on it. We had to look at ourselves for like 15 minutes asking ourselves, “who do I see when I look in the mirror?” It was so hard to look past the flaws I see, and to see who I really am and to what God see’s when He looks at me. Then I took off my world given name(ellen) on the mirror to see underneath who God says I am. It read ” I am glorious.” I wept. My name Ellen actually means: bright one, light. It was an incredible time of healing and renewal. God has been challenging me daily to see myself as He does-chosen, glorious, adopted and perfect.
On Friday(yesterday) we learned about Winning The Battle in your mind. I learned how every thought I have I need to take captive instead of dwelling on it, then it becomes an action and what I think about myself. We spent about a hour in prayer by ourselves asking God to show us lies from Satan that we have been believing for years that have effected the way we live. God completely opened my eyes to lies from Satan that I have believed that I could have never thought of or remembered on my own. Then we had a time of prayer ministry with the leaders- they walked us prayerfully through living in freedom, breaking the lies and strongholds of Satan, getting mad at Satan, rejoicing in God’s freedom, forgiving those who brought lies into my life, asking for forgiveness for beliving the lies and finally choosing to live in that freedom. What a burden taken off! My spirit was light again!
I wanted to share that with you because I was discouraged for a while thinking and wondering why God was silent. But look at the healing and revelation He had for me waiting around the corner. I challenge you not to give up in your prayer life- be a prayer warrior-press in, press on!
Til Next Time,
Serving in Africa,
Ellen
